Interpersonal Space

I saw the shadow of a large tree today on the road while I waited at a stop light, its branches dancing in the breeze. It hypnotized me for a moment, and I thought about a blog I read this morning about how to not take things personally. Right then, I understood that there is a natural space between us and other people. We can clutter that space with so many feelings, expectations and pressures like needing others’ approval or disappointment when they let us down. But if we disengage from that space, or clear that space by not taking anything personally, the good or the bad, then we are free. I felt this quiet sense of freedom come over me, a release. I don’t have to depend on anyone to feel good. I don’t have to take it personally if someone else appreciates me, or if they are rude to me. For a moment, I felt like I was a teenager again, living my own life and to hell with everyone else. “I’m the one who’s got to die when it’s time for me to die. I’ll live my life the way I want to. “ – Jimi Hendrix

I think this is an important part of my self-healing. I can’t rise to my full potential if I’m always worried over what others think. I let go of fear of what others think now or in the future. I release it forever. What others think is their business, not mine. I am free of hurt by others’ actions or words.

A shadow has no judgment about it. It is neutral. It simply echoes the shape of the tree in light and dark configurations. Without the space between the shapes, there would be no picture, and no beauty. Be willing to keep that space between you and others clear. Observe it from neutrality and curiosity. There is nothing there except what you put there. Allow space for beauty to come in without judgment or expectation.

Duality

To be honest, I like duality. I like the yin and yang, the masculine and feminine. I like the process of discovery, learning, teaching and growing. I dig the diversity of experience, the bittersweet feeling of life. It’s an adventure, a rollercoaster, a movie that touches your heart, a song that makes you cry. Am I ready to ascend if I still enjoy the triumphs and tribulations of life? Or is that part of it? I already have the ruby slippers on. I can use them anytime. And yet I follow the yellow brick road to my home in order to gain the experiences that will unlock the power within me to get there. It’s linear and non-linear all at the same time.

The thing is I like business. I act like it’s too much work, but the truth is, I enjoy digging into something and figuring it out. In fact, my mind needs something to latch onto, something to work on, or I would be bored out of my skull. I like the satisfaction of getting results, but I need the actual work. I am not just in it for the results. I love the challenge. Does accepting this mean that I will always be pushing a rock up a hill? I can also accept the fruits of my labor and enjoy time off, right? I would probably end up starting another business or project. Down time is not really my thing. Sometimes I think I’m addicted to the struggle. It makes me feel important, like I’m doing something.

The key is not to resist my love of work, but just to enjoy the ride without the attachment to any specific outcome. I can pursue goals, desire things, and yet not have my self worth tied into the results. It’s OK to be ambitious. And yet I can observe the effect of that ambition on myself. As in meditation, even while the mind runs rampant, I can observe from a place of pure consciousness. Where would we be without duality, relativity, polarity, black and white? There would be no definition, no contrast, and therefore no experience. Duality is the core of our existence. And yet, the paradox is that we are here to know one-ness in our world of duality. The key to the kingdom is that we are one experiencing duality. We are the giver, the receiver and the gift.

Choice

“You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future.”

Steve Jobs

5/11/2021

Any choice you make is irrelevant. I’ve always dwelled on decisions, hemmed and hawed so much. Now I understand that it doesn’t matter. Any choice you make, minor or major, will lead on the correct path, the path to God. You will learn what you need to learn, you will have the experience you need to have. From God’s perspective, high above, it’s all good. Imagine we are like ants running around the dirt, working hard, busying ourselves with our goals. Maybe an ant carries something heavy up a hill and feels proud. His work is important to him. But to us observing these ants, it’s just a lot of running around. It’s great that the ants are doing their thing being ants, but the details of it all are inconsequential because in the end, they are all fulfilling their purpose as ants, even if one ant fails and one ant succeeds.

Ever hear the song, “High Hopes” by Frank Sinatra? It feels like a lot is riding on certain decisions. Should we or shouldn’t we? But the important thing is that we make the decision. Quit hemming and hawing. Stop riding the fence and take action. Indecisiveness gives the Universe mixed messages. Decide what you want and take decisive action. Then the whole Universe will conspire to bring it to you. For me, this is so much easier said than done. Knowing what I truly want is really hard. I’m a Libra, and I like to balance everything out, look at things from all sides, and I’m prone to overthinking things. Realizing that, when faced with a choice, whichever path I take, I’m held in the hand of God, helps take the pressure off and the ego out of the situation.

We are blessed with free will and the opportunity to make choices every moment of the day, some big, some small. That’s our human gift. We are an expression of God and co-creators with the Universe. The adventures are there to be had. Resolve to make that choice, the one you dream about, and it will happen for you. And even if it doesn’t, in the act of choosing it, you will grow and perhaps discover something even better.

Friday Night

Friday night. 
Another week survived intact. 
Juggling crystal balls in a whirlwind
While dancing the merengue
To house music
And surfing ten foot waves of lava
Now floating among theories and thoughts
With a cup of tea
Juxtaposing against 
My myriad of experiences 
Learning and unraveling The mystery (my story) of my life
Finding my footing
Through the flow of my pen
I write therefore I am. 
Energy moves always
Such is life
Time passes. We get older. 
That flow is always there at the succulent center of each moment.

The Bridge

“You become a bridge between the unmanifested and the manifested, between God and the world. This is the state of connectedness with the Source that we call Enlightenment.”

Eckhart Tolle

 

3/31/2021

It just occurred to me that maybe my internal pull between the astral and physical realms is exactly what my mission is about. I am a conduit between the two and my mission is integration and assimilation of the two worlds. I am the boots on the ground.

If I didn’t have a footing in the physical realm, I wouldn’t be able to fulfill my mission. The pull is inherent in my journey. It is my journey. I’m straddling the divide. My work is not to pick one but to bring them together, find congruency.

Real Estate is for my mind. It’s the way I work in the manifested world. Writing is how I nourish my soul, how I connect with and express the unmanifested. It is healthy to have both. I AM both manifested and unmanifested. I AM the bridge.

Religious corruption led to the need for science, objectivity and a preoccupation with economic security. Strange how this historical perspective of the last 1,000 years (from the Celestine Prophecy) mirrors my own life. My parents were highly spiritual when I was young then became disillusioned due to their discovery of their spiritual leaders’ corruption. They reset and rebuilt their lives on a seemingly more stable bedrock of scientific and financial security only touching the surface of their spirituality from then on (as far as I could see), no longer having it be at the core of their lives. I was raised to think more practically – not that I always did – and find my own way spiritually. And then, I found a mission to help people transcend financial obsession and align with their highest self. Now, I find myself on a spiritual quest. I’ve come full circle.

Last night, falling asleep, I saw myself between two doors, one to the manifested world, one to the unmanifested, existing in both planes at once. We all do. We are the bridge. The history of humankind brought us here.

Purpose

“You are here to allow the divine purpose of the universe to unfold. That’s how important you are.”

Eckhart Tolle

 I have always felt like I needed to go out and do something to help people, to have an impact, in order to bring meaning to my life. Then today I realized the only person I have to heal is myself. I am enough.

I did the Marconics no touch protocol on myself this morning. I was so tense I really felt I needed it. As soon as I called down the energy I could feel it pouring into me. It was so healing. I realized then that the whole Marconics thing is for me – for my own self-healing. Just because I took the practitioner courses doesn’t mean I have to be a practitioner. It was part of my own spiritual journey and healing. I don’t need to practice it or teach it. Just by healing myself, I am healing others. I felt my energy body as I did the protocol today. Felt it undulating softly all around me. I’m so grateful to have this tool (although tool doesn’t seem quite an adequate word for it) in my life. It’s no wonder I felt so keen to share it. But I didn’t fully understand I  could share it without “doing” anything to or with anyone else. I can simply be. When I stand in my own energy, I am channeling it effortlessly. My energy body surrounds me and goes out into the world. So simple. Sometimes I don’t see the forest for the trees. I try too hard, when all I needed to do is just be.

When I heal myself, I help the whole universe.

As babies, we know we are the center of the universe. Then our parents and society teach us otherwise. But babies are right. We are each the center of our own universe. We are the hero of our own story, and we have ultimate power to co-create our world. No one is more powerful than I. I AM the universe. I AM important.

It was a good day in many, many ways. I don’t know the future and things could always be better. But today is a good day. This moment is full of hope. This moment feels full of purpose. And that goes a really long way. A higher purpose makes us all heroes.

Ascension

Your outer journey may contain 1 million steps. Your inner journey only has one – The step you are taking right now.

Eckhart Tolle

1/11/2021 –

Ascension = heaven on earth i.e. click your heels and you create your reality. Free will creatively manifesting at the speed of energy.

The Wizard of Oz has never held so much significance to me. Dorothy took the yellow brick road to Oz only to find that she could have gone home anytime she wanted using the ruby slippers – instant manifestation – but she had to take the journey to learn to believe in herself. Maybe I only need know and remember that I can click my heels at any time and say “There’s no place like home” to go there, or even just think and intend it to be. After all, ascension is not so much a road or path as a dimension, a state of being, a mindset. I can manifest anything instantaneously at the speed of energy and thought. And Dorothy picked up pieces of herself along her path – the full power of her brain / thought, her heart energy and her courage, her ability to release fear and she faced her demon, the witch , and revealed the Wizard to be an illusion. The power she sought was always there in herself, waiting to be discovered. Such a strong message. How many times have I seen that movie and thought it just a funny remnant of the past never fully realizing its meaning?

Dorothy is no fool. She learned her lesson and declared that all her heart desires is right there in her own backyard. She helped others when they were in need and she stepped up and confronted the lion when he threatened her friends tapping him on the nose firmly. She even chided the Emperor when he was impolite. She fought for her right to self-actualize and achieve her goal. Even in 1939 when young girls were to be seen but not heard, she exemplifies light warrior characteristics, compassionate yet resolute, gentle yet firm. And of course she extinguishes the witch by innocently saving her friend, out of love, not fear. Like Dorothy, we all have our own path we must take and challenges we must face in order to discover the truth – that we are our own hero and only we can create our own reality.

Ascension is a free will choice, a choice we make every moment.
We rise up or keep going round and round.
We have to keep going. Our lives do not. It’s dizzying to think of all the dimensions we’re transmuting into with only our inner knowing to guide us.
That soft, quiet voice, feeling it and trusting it is all we have. Will this journey end?
Is that the point? Or does it go forever? Forever into the sublime NOW.

Trigger Happy

Everyone and everything I encounter is for me. They are not in my way, they are not there to annoy me or trigger me. They are all for me. When I remember this, there is no anger, self-pity or grief.

Your triggers are your teachers. Don’t be mad at them. They are showing you where you still need to grow. When the universe kept throwing trigger after trigger at me, I knew it was a test, and I had to laugh. And I passed. The clock showed 12:12 as proof. It’s not about taking away the triggers. It’s about sailing through them. And when you do get triggered, admit it, and relax – you’re human after all. It’s not about perfection, it’s about working a muscle. The more you practice, the easier it gets. This is it. This is the work. Work on yourself. That’s all there is.

I refuse to be stressed or angry. I do not wish to feel that way, and I won’t. I have no need for it. I will not judge anyone. It’s so much work judging everybody all the time. What a relief to not have to. Love in one hand, fear in the other. Choose love. Just keep choosing love. No judgment. No fear. Choose love. All stress and anger dissolves with that choice. Love. Unconditional love. If you practice unconditional love and let go of expectations, who can bother you?

Stop Trying So Hard

“There is no more effort required to demand actualization of your highest desires than is required to accept misery and poverty.”

Bob Proctor
Granzie, my grandmother who passed away last year, was in my dream last night. I was sitting with Mum, and Mum was talking about her calendar planning system. I was raving at how organized she is. Then I became aware that Granzie was sitting across the table, and I invited her into the conversation. Her face was beaming and beautiful. She was kind of giggling and lightheartedly teasing Mum and me about our planning discussion. I don't remember what words were said, only the feel of it. It was kind of like, "Oh yeah, keep on planning! You're in control, ha!" She was genuinely amused. It's funny because she was such a planner. She always liked to have a structured itinerary even on vacations. It was cute and it felt great to see her so well. 

I seem to have formed the belief that love is contingent on accomplishments. I’ll have to dig into that belief next. As I’ve grown, I’ve tried hard at everything. It’s been a source of pride. Yet maybe I don’t have to try so hard to be successful, to be loved, to be worthy. I am worthy. I am loved. I am successful. Breathe in, breathe out. Love what is. Stop trying to change it all the time. It’s become a habit: restlessness, dissatisfaction, the need for control of the future. Yet all is unraveling in perfect timing. And all is there for the taking. Simply open up to receive. I’ve been worried about what I’m meant to do, trying to figure out my mission, my purpose. And how do I accomplish this and financial security? Such a puzzle to figure out. 

In my heart, though, I feel everything happening. I trust the process even though I don’t see exactly how the details will unfold. There is a plan. My higher self has got this. I don’t have to know everything right now. I’m sure I will keep trying, yet I can practice releasing the worry, the attachment to the outcome. I can have faith, surrender to my higher self, and enjoy the journey that much more. 

Humanity

1/04/2021

The advantage that humans have over robots is that we are connected to God. Computers and robots can out-compute us, outsmart us, and work without tiring, eating, or having personal problems. Yet humans have the ability for a higher kind of thinking – we can connect to a higher form of energy and thought that transcends the physical, even the cerebral. When we exercise that type of thinking, we are working in our unique advantage, and in our Godliness.

We are created in God’s image. Which means we are artists, creators like Him. When we create, we are God-like. We exist in the flow, the theta state, the realm outside of time, the dimension of one-ness, peace and tranquility, the kingdom of God. We are in the zone. We vibrate high, and that’s where we meet God. We realize we are one with Him, with that energy, and there is no separation. He created us and we are Him.

Perhaps the next evolutionary step of humankind is to learn to apply thinking / free will without letting it destroy  / consume us. Life situations present many choices. But living in the now is the divinely inspired choice.