In Bloom

Life is not a linear line but an unfurling and stretching out, like a rose blooming. We stretch into every corner of our existence with each passing moment and new experience, feeling into the shape of ourselves.

I keep seeing and feeling flashes of former times in my life. They come through so crystal clear – more than memories. I feel just how I felt then, and then they’re gone. I saw myself as a party girl, God I was so footloose and carefree and just all these random moments of life still vibrating somewhere in my psyche, somewhere in the cloud. I love little tidbits, tiny pieces of me, my experience of myself in the world.

My life, my consciousness, just being all I am. It’s hardly linear. It’s more curved. I remember a boy named Vince in my kindergarten class. I thought it was a very exotic name. I remember he had dark hair. That’s Joe’s dad’s middle name. Coincidences and synchronicities echo through the layers of time.

Karma has us continually retracing our steps until we fully absorb the lessons we need to learn. Anyone can be our teacher – a parent, a child, a friend, a complete stranger. If we don’t recognize the lesson easily, it will have to be a traumatic or “negative” event in order to effect change. We keep going around on the wheel until we change the karmic pattern. Those lessons are things we already know but we have forgotten, and we need reminding. I always tend to think of time pressures as roadblocks, but in fact they are there for me to help me focus. If I had all the time in the world, would I ever get anything done? No, I would never get around to it because there would be no urgency. A friend reminded me of this last night.